The Confession
by SecretBlonde
Summary: Howard and Raj's friendship will never be the same again. Rated M for later chapters. Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story
1. Chapter 1

The Confession  
Chapter One - The Epiphany

Raj was tired. So very tired. Why couldn't he just sleep? Thoughts swirled around his head like buzzing bees, determined to keep him awake forever more. Or at least, that's what it seemed like. Groaning, he rolled over in bed and stared at the ceiling, tracing the minute patterns the made cracks upon it. His body felt like lead, so why couldn't his mind?  
Finally closing his eyes, Raj tried to drift off. It was to no avail. Every time his mind wandered, it settled on one person. One very specific person. Howard, to be exact. Rubbing the heels of his hands against his closed eyelids, Raj desperately tried to forget earlier events.

* 7 Hours earlier *

Raj awkwardly stood outside the cinema, shifting from foot to foot and anxiously checking his phone like he had a nervous twitch. It wasn't like Howard to be late for their weekly cinema trip. What if… "Hey Raj!" Called a familiar voice. Smiling inwardly with relief, Raj turned to see Howard striding towards him, grinning impishly and wearing the classic skin tight pants. "Dude, I thought you weren't gonna make it! The film has almost started, I was gonna go in without you!" The Indian exclaimed loudly, fondly gazing at his friend, his best friend, noticing how the light shone off his dark brown hair and his blue eyes sparkled in the light. Um what? Frowning inwardly, Raj stopped that strange train of thought. Squashing the disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind, he grinned back at Howard. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Sorry, my mum kept me" Howard began, "I had to pick her up from her water aerobics class again." The two nerds shuddered in unison at the thought of Mrs Wolowitz in a bathing suit. "It's ok man, I don't envy you." Raj replied before hurriedly ushering him into the cinema, aware that the film was due to start in a matter of minutes.

Once settled in the dark, comforting warmth of the cinema, Raj relaxed. He immediately forgot about his thoughts from earlier, and gazed happily at the action occurring on the bright screen. That is, until the Indian felt a warm thigh press against his. Raj jumped slightly, a nervous movement. Was that Howard? Gazing down at his lap and the gap between their chairs he saw that it was indeed Howard who had unintentionally pressed his thigh lightly against Raj's. Swallowing awkwardly, Raj looked up, trying to forget how the lightest of touches made his heart flutter wildly, his stomach twist and the crotch of his jeans to become uncomfortably tight. Curiously he analysed his reaction. He always felt like this when he was very close to Howard. Always had, and he supposed, always shall. Then the epiphany hit him. He. Was. In. Love. With. Howard. His stomach dropped. No! It couldn't be! Casting a furtive glance at Howard in the dark, his stomach clenched as he saw his best friend's silhouette. Squeezing his eyes tight and glancing away, Raj tried desperately to focus back on the film. Why did it have to be him?

* Back to present*

He wasn't gay was he? Surely not. He liked girls, maybe he couldn't talk to them without being drunk, but that didn't change the way he felt about them. He liked boobs, soft bouncing boobs that you could grab and play with, not men! But… he did feel a stirring when he thought about Howard's perfectly formed, round... No! Pinching the bridge of his nose, Raj groaned yet again. He had to face the facts. What was the point in denying emotions? Deciding to try and analyse his jumbled thoughts in a logic and unemotional manner, he set them down, as if in a list, in his own mind.  
Item 1: Yes he was attracted to Howard, physically, but also emotionally.  
Item 2: Yes he felt a certain desire when he looked at him.  
Item 3: Yes he fantasised about him when he self-pleasured that one time... Or maybe that tenth time...  
Item 4: But he felt all this when he was with women?  
More confused than ever, Raj rubbed his eyes and sat up. What was the point of trying to sleep anymore? It wasn't like he was making progress. Glancing at his glow in the dark clock which was resting precariously on his bedside table, he saw that it was 2:04am. Would Howard still be awake he wondered. He had to tell him. Raj smiled grimly to himself. "Before it eats me alive!" He added out loud to himself before reaching for his phone.

*To Be Continued*


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hi there! Thanks for the follows, favourites and reviews for the previous chapter! **

**I'm a fairly new fan of TBBT so sorry for any errors or lack of relevance to the story line of the show. Also, sorry for the lack of the characters sounding scientific, I will be the first to admit I'm not that smart :(**

**This chapter is rather short, but I figured it's better to update regularly and have small chapters rather than than once a month with an essay. **

**WARNING: M/M coming up in this chapter, so if you don't like, don't read. Also, the use of bad language is rather widespread in this chapter sorry!**

**I hope you enjoy and PLEASE review if you did!**

Chapter Two - Truth will out

Howard placed a bold hand on the man's hip, stroking sensuously up his bare side, hand blazing a trail on his hot dark skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. He shivered. Reaching daringly up higher he lightly caressed sensitive nipples. Swirling his fingers around the peaked bud he gave a light tweak that elicited a gasp from the other. As he did this, the taller man explored his mouth, their tongues lashing together passionately and fighting for dominance. Groaning, Howard pressed the other harder onto the mattress, his free hand reaching up and tangling itself in smooth, curly dark locks. The other gasped as Howard pressed a knee in between his thighs, and grabbed wildly at his ass, holding it in a death grip as he thrust his hardness against the answering hardness. Hot skin slid together as a bold hand moved lower and lower. Head swimming with sensations, moaning in anticipation...

*BANG*

"Shit!" Howard exclaimed, bolting upright in bed, clutching his chest. This couldn't be good for his arrhythmia... "For fuck's sake!" He protested, still half asleep, his crotch sporting a rather obvious and awkward hard on. Uhh... why did he have to be woken up JUST then? Howard palmed himself in a half-hearted manner through his silk pyjamas. Blinking, he reached out groggily across the covers, peering with half opened eyes off the side of his bed. The small man grumbled when he realised that it had been his phone (set on vibrate) that had shook itself quite literally off his bedside table and banged loudly onto the floor. Who the hell would call at this time? Howard thought. Still buzzing and flashing, his phone ostentatiously continued to wail at him to answer the incoming call. Not bothering to glance at the bright screen, Howard grabbed his phone, stabbed the accept button and jammed it to his ear, ready to unleash the chaos of a Wolowitz woken rudely from one of the best sex dreams he'd had in a while. "What'd want?" He snapped. "It's the middle of the night?" He continued. "H-Howard?" A familiar voice stammered nervously on the other end of the line. Speak of the devil... Sighing, the anger drained away. How could he stay mad at Raj? "Raj, its 2am? What do you want?" Howard asked, his voice considerably more pleasant than before, if slightly gawky, most likely due to the fact he was trying to hide that he had a troublesome erection from his dream about a certain Indian. "Um... Er... This will probably sound a bit mad." Raj replied, his voice shaking slightly. Howard frowned, concern rapidly displacing annoyance and arousal. Whatever Raj wanted, it couldn't be good if he rung him at 2 in the morning and sounded if he was about to cry on the phone. "Raj? What's the matter? Is everything ok?" Howard asked, his voice displaying a hint of a rarely shown care for his best friend. A quiet sob answered him. Howard bit his lip, genuine worry (and a slight dismay) filling him now. "But Howard you'll hate me! I can't tell you... I… Need… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have rung you I... ""Raj, don't you dare hang up on me!" Howard cut in. "I'll drive over there if you do! Now tell me what's wrong before we both get old and grey?" A deep breath. Silence. "Raj?" Howard ventured with slight trepidation. Then, with a small sounding voice, "Howard. I'm in love with you."

*To Be Continued*


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